Let’s jump right in. Todd and his Evil Uncles are cooking while uptight Lydia looks on. They improve the purity but don’t create that blue glass that the customers demand. That blue is their “brand” and all of a sudden I feel like I’m at work. There’s a discussion about using food coloring, but I’d like to think these Nazi, murdering meth cooks have more integrity than that.
Todd takes a phone call outside and it’s Walt ordering the hit on Jesse. I hate Todd’s stupid face.
Hank and Gomez are dealing with Jesse. They have no choice but to follow his lead on bringing Walt down. Jesse suggests they go after his money and hey, that’s a pretty good plan. The most disgusting moment of the episode is
Lydia’s lipstick stain on a mug when Hank dumps some brains and blood in his kitchen floor. Where did he get? Oh, just the corner brain bodega. They pose Jesse next to it to make him look like he had his brains blown out and use the photo to fool Saul’s bodyguard. This episode had a bit more farce than I enjoy, but whatever. Saul’s bodyguard now thinks he’s going to be killed and gives him all the information he has about Walt’s money: Seven barrels, shipped in a white rental van, etc.
Walt meets with Evil Uncles to talk about the kill. He doesn’t want Jesse to suffer or be scared. He insists that Jesse’s not a rat, but that he won’t listen to reason and is angry. (If those were grounds for murder, everyone I know would be dead.) He says Jesse is like family and seems conflicted about killing him. But not so much that he won’t help flush Jesse out of his hiding place. He shows up at Andrea and Brock’s and has them call Jesse. He figures Jesse will rush over to ensure their safety and Evil Uncles will take him out right there. What he wasn’t counting on was Hank intercepting the call.
Saul shows up at the car wash. Skyler’s stink eye pales in comparison to Flynn’s glee at seeing the TV lawyer in real life. Saul tells him not to drink and drive, but to call him if he does. Ha. If I need a weird lawyer in Austin, I guess I’ll call the Lawyer that Rocks.
Saul’s wearing a bullet proof vest and is worried that his bodyguard is missing. He thinks Jesse’s on a killing spree but Walt defends him. “It’s me he wants. Just me.” While they are talking, Walt receives a text message from Jesse with a photo of a barrel full of money. Jesse calls and we are treated to a long, disembodied conversation where Jesse repeatedly says “bitch” and threatens to burn all of Walt’s money. The whole time Walt is driving like hell through the desert to meet him while stupidly confessing to killing Gus, poisoning Brock, and other crimes. Of course they didn’t find the money and this is a ploy to get some evidence and have Walt lead them to the money. I’m mad he fell for this shit.
Once he arrives at the desert and Jesse is not there, he realizes the truth and takes his anger out on his phone. Also, he is a vagillionaire. Why doesn’t he have an iPhone yet? He runs and hides from a car in the distance. He stealthily calls Evil Uncles and gives them his coordinates so they can come save him. But when Hank and Gomez get out of the car with Jesse, he cancels the instructions. We watch Hank handcuff Walt and read him his rights before putting him in the car. He and Gomez are all happy and congratulatory and Marie is on the phone and thrilled by the news, too. Hooray. They caught the bad guy.
Evil Uncles, Todd, and some other gnarly dudes show up and everyone pulls out guns. There’s a standoff while they talk about police badges and such. Jesse and Walt are both in separate cars. Walt is locked in his car with handcuffs on, so we don’t know if anyone besides us can hear his screams to not shoot. But everyone opens fire anyway. The scene is intense and loud and violent. Hank and Gomez are grossly overpowered. The cars are all shot up. Gomez gets hit. And, while I can’t be certain about this, I think Walt gets shot, too. End of episode!
Three to go.