Friday, December 7th

Holiday Gift Guide: Amber Demure Edition

‘Tis the season to be shopping. Darling readers, you are in for a treat! To get you in the spirit of the holidays, Mad Betty will be featuring a series of guest posts from a few of my favorite bloggers.

The first in the series is a gift guide from Amber Demure, Austin’s most notorious party girl with a penchant for the finer things. Her blogs Amber Demure and I Eat Fancy feature brilliant drawings that put her life on display for the world to see. There’s a little Amber in all of us, and she expertly navigates the city’s best happy hours and deals, directing budget-minded scenesters where to get a taste of the good life. Her “Classy Lady” gift guide is just like her: funny, outrageous, and sophisticated with an edge. If the classy lady in your life drinks her champagne from a brown paper bag, now you know what to get her.

Presenting Amber Demure’s Classy Lady Gift Guide!

Not sure what to buy for the elegant woman in your life this season? Perhaps you yourself are a claaaaaassy laaaaady, and need some inspiration for what to stuff your own silk stocking with this year? Never fear, I’m here to help, and I’m classy as hell!

Gift #1: The Wine Rack, $29.95

Wine rack

If there’s anything a fancy woman appreciates, it’s wine. Why not get her the kind of rack you’ve been dreaming of, while getting her the kind of rack she’s been dreaming of? Sure, she might have meant one made of mahogany, but she never specified, so who cares?! She can imbibe at the opera, during a ballet, or even as she walks her Yorkies on a sidewalk downtown. You’ll be happy, and she’ll be happy… because she’s drunk.

Gift #2: Diamonds, $16

Diamond earrings

Karats, schmarats. These diamonds weren’t forged in the high-pressure tight ass of Ann Coulter, NO! These were made right here in Austin! They may not last forever, but she’ll look trendy for seasons to come. (And you’ll save a fortune!)

Gift #3: Gold, $799

Gold pills

Gold isn’t just for jewelry anymore. It can be found in desserts, alcohol, and even in overpriced skin creams, but the one place I can bet your classy lady hasn’t found gold coming out of is her ass. That’s right. She can now literally sh*t 24 karat gold. If that doesn’t scream classy, I’m not sure what does.

2 Responses

  1. Girl! Santa Claus is coming to town! Do you EVER hope to be on the ‘nice’; list?

    Didn’t think so!

    Happy Holidays, Amber!

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